Trouble Marriage

There’s nothing better than personal experience. Let me tell you about mine.

The first few days after my boyfriend split with me were hell. I couldn’t think of nothing else, and felt like I walking inside a black cloud.

When I was able to calm myself a bit, I began thinking about the situation, trying to analyze it, asking myself what went wrong.

Was it simply because his feelings changed? Was I too clingy or maybe I was taking his feelings for granted? Maybe I’m not sexy enough for him anymore?

I decided that I want to try to get my ex boyfriend back. So what if I fail? At least I’ll know I tried.

But how do I start? In those first awful days, I had to physically restrain myself from calling him, from begging to give our relationship just one more chance. Pride stopped me. I cringed thinking  how pathetic and clingy I’d sound, and that right now, whining would probably bring the opposite result – I’ll just push him away. It will definitely not make me more attractive to him.

Luckily or not, me and my ex had common friends. And so, about a week after we split, I went out with them and found myself face to face with my ex-boyfriend. Since one of my friends warned me he’d be there a few days ahead, it wasn’t a shock. I dreaded the encounter though, and ran scenarios in my head, imagining how I’d act and what I’d say. Some decisions were made, and though it was really hard to stick to them, I never regretted it.  But boy, what a tough evening that was.

Don’t overdress, don’t be overly nice and agreeable, I kept saying to myself, don’t giggle like a silly girl, don’t stare but don’t avoid eye-contact. Say hello, show that you’re glad to see him, but don’t waggle your tail, for Christ’s sake. Play it cool, and what’s more important, play it calm. Show him that you’re simply enjoying a night out with friends, but don’t be too demonstrative.

It was like walking on a tightrope, and I did slip from time to time. The hardest thing to do, actually, was not to flirt with other guys around, and there were some nice guys around. My ex, I noticed, didn’t restrain himself, and it was annoying as hell. But I figured out that that’s why he was doing that. He was trying to annoy me and show me that life goes on. Still, I decided to stay available for a while. Just in case.

Pride is something you shouldn’t underestimate, as it turned out. I stuck to this behavior for a month or more. Living my life. Using every opportunity to demonstrate that I’m calm and happy, whether when stumbling into my ex when meeting with common friends or via appropriate statuses on social networks. Most of the time I was depressed, because he seemed as calm and as happy as I was trying to seem, and since it looked natural, I couldn’t know if he’s acting or really moved on. I didn’t want to dwell in illusions and was starting to think I’ being pathetic and I should really move on too. But in the end, it paid off.

After two months or so, I couldn’t help but notice how friendly my ex seemed when we happened to meet. He looked genuinely happy to see me. I refused to believe it and surrender so easily, but I was afraid to lose my opportunity if I behave. So I decided to act friendly too, and not to push him away. And then, one day he approached me (very timidly I must say) and asked if I’d like to get together some time. It took me all the strength I had not to look too pleased with myself or to jump up and down.. I figured it’d spoil the moment, so I just said I’d like that, and gave him a friendly smile. We were together again in no time.

So I guess you understand how it works now. The tips are all there: what to do, how you should behave, what mistakes you should avoid to get your ex boyfriend back. For more detailed tactics, take a look at this guide, very down-to-earth and simple.

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