How To Save Your Marriage

Marriage  /   /  By Trouble Marriage  /  759805 views

I myself am not married. Yet. But you don’t really have to be. It’s enough to be involved in a serious, long-term relationship (which luckily I am), to be familiar with the troubles that can arise. Once you start to think you beat the statistics, the problems start,  you realize that your marriage and love life are no longer what they used to be. So, what now?  You may decide to start a new life. It’s more than OK if you do. If, however, you believe that your relationship with your partner deserves another try, this article is for you.

So here’s just a few basic tips.

Just Let Go

You and your partner are two different people, often with different tastes and interests.  You should respect each other’s decisions and choices, whether in clothes, movies or career matters. Forcing your opinion on your partner won’t change him, but you’ll probably get into a fight.

Space

Everybody needs it from time to time. It’s OK for your husband to spend a weekend fishing with MALE friends. The best couple I know occasionally spends a separate vacation, and they adore each other. After 30 years of marriage, that’s definitely saying something.

Speak It Out

Don’t wait for things to explode. Knowing how to argue is an art by itself, so just remember this: What you really want is to solve this argument, not to prove you’re right. No, you don’t have to give up your principles, but don’t ever go to sleep angry. Oh, and another thing. There’s no worse starting phrase than “honey, we need to talk”.

Sex

Now that’s going to take more than a short advice. For a start, see the previous tip. If you want to change something in your sex life, say it. However, lecturing or reproaching your partner won’t do the trick. It’s a delicate matter, and you really don’t want to offend each other. As for fidelity, remember that you’re both human, and it’s perfectly natural to be attracted to other people. What you do with those feelings is a different matter, and solutions are plenty. That’s for you to decide.

Rebuilding your relationship might take a while, and you will sure need much patience, love and understanding.  If, however, you feel that you need a more detailed, step-by-step advice, I’d start with this practical guide by the relationship advisor, Amy Waterman, which you can find here.

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  • Karen

    I totally agree that lecturing won’t do any good. It doesn’t work too, hehe, I swear my husband can smell it when I’m about to make a speech and makes a face…

  • Lara

    Really, it’s just like you’re saying it in your other article, not every marriage is worth saving. Gos knows mine isn’t.

  • Paul

    How do u save your marriage when your wife has no feelings for you?

  • Trouble Marriage

    Paul,

    We cannot force someone to love us, just as we cannot force ourselves to love someone else. If your wife is definitely not interested in your relationship, there’s not much to be done, but is this your situation?

  • Trouble Marriage

    It seems that he know you just as well as you know him, right?:)

  • raniya

    My husband is in love with another woman. He’s known her for alsmost 20 years and he says he has always had feeling for her. I believe they meet in secret. When I asked him to block her from his fb account he deletd his completely and wpn’t talk to me. Whenever I try to confront him about it and our marriage he won’t talk to me. I ddo everything I can to make him happy and that’s how he repays me. Can I save it????

  • Blocking a Facebook account won’t change much. You cannot force your husband to stay with you, though he’s obviously not ready for divorce. I’m afraid that at this stage, there’s not much you can do except decide whether you want to continue this relationship or take a timeout. The question is, will you forgive your husband if this relationship is over.