I myself am not married. Yet. But you don’t really have to be. It’s enough to be involved in a serious, long-term relationship (which luckily I am), to be familiar with the troubles that can arise. Once you start to think you beat the statistics, the problems start, you realize that your marriage and love life are no longer what they used to be. So, what now? You may decide to start a new life. It’s more than OK if you do. If, however, you believe that your relationship with your partner deserves another try, this article is for you.
So here’s just a few basic tips.
JUST LET GO. You and your partner are two different people, often with different tastes and interests. You should respect each other’s decisions and choices, whether in clothes, movies or career matters. Forcing your opinion on your partner won’t change him, but you’ll probably get into a fight.
SPACE. Everybody needs it from time to time. It’s OK for your husband to spend a weekend fishing with MALE friends. The best couple I know occasionally spends a separate vacation, and they adore each other. After 30 years of marriage, that’s definitely saying something.
SPEAK IT OUT. Don’t wait for things to explode. Knowing how to argue is an art by itself, so just remember this: What you really want is to solve this argument, not to prove you’re right. No, you don’t have to give up your principles, but don’t ever go to sleep angry. Oh, and another thing. There’s no worse starting phrase than “honey, we need to talk”.
SEX. Now that’s going to take more than a short advice. For a start, see the previous tip. If you want to change something in your sex life, say it. However, lecturing or reproaching your partner won’t do the trick. It’s a delicate matter, and you really don’t want to offend each other. As for fidelity, remember that you’re both human, and it’s perfectly natural to be attracted to other people. What you do with those feelings is a different matter, and solutions are plenty. That’s for you to decide.
Rebuilding your relationship might take a while, and you will sure need much patience, love and understanding. If, however, you feel that you need a more detailed, step-by-step advice, I’d start with this practical guide by the relationship expert, Dr. Lee H. Baucom, which you can find here.
4 Responses to How To Save Your Marriage
marriage 28/06/2011
Dear Samuel.
It’s a good point. We often don’t take our behavior seriously in such matters, but tend to over react when our spouse is involved. If you’re worried about your wife’s feelings about it, maybe you should mention it to her in passing and let her think about it.
Best Regards
Karen 24/04/2011
I totally agree that lecturing won’t do any good. It doesn’t work too, hehe, I swear my husband can smell it when I’m about to make a speech and makes a face…
Lara 20/10/2012
Really, it’s just like you’re saying it in your other article, not every marriage is worth saving. Gos knows mine isn’t.