During the course of my work, I receive copious mails from men and women, requesting my advice regarding their marriages. Some complain about an unfaithful husband or wife, others say their partners don’t care for sex anymore. Naturally, all of them feel bad and want to solve their issues. Surprisingly enough, no matter how bad the situation is, none of them mentions the possibility of a divorce.
In some cases, when it seems that a relationship is beyond repair, I carefully offer to consider the possibility of a separation. In some cases, I talk about a trial separation. Sometimes, about a divorce. And the reactions I get are amazing. One woman actually thanked me for saying what she was afraid to think about. Another wrote that the marriage advisor she was seeing insisted that to solve their problems, she and her husband must stay together, and said my answer was refreshing to hear. It seemed as though they were waiting for someone to tell them what they were afraid to think about themselves.
Not all couples make it through. Some marriages inevitably fail, and no one knows better than you whether yours is worth saving. Eventually, it’s all about whether you feel good in this relationship, but as time passes, many tend to forget what that means.
Why do we want to be in a relationship? Why do we feel the need to be with someone? Because something in a person makes us feel really good and comfortable. We feel good about being with them. Moreover, we feel good about ourselves while being with them. We need the love, the support and the feeling of security they give us. But if a relationship doesn’t give us all that, we should ask ourselves why we’re here in the first place.
Nobody wants to think about divorce. It means leaving behind the life we know and the person that shared our days, nights and dreams for years. It means exchanging the familiar routine for the unknown, and starting a new life all by yourself. Will you ever find love again? Some couples have the financial issue to consider. Not everybody are economically independent, and this is a thing to bear in mind if you think about separating. Besides, there are the kids. How will your divorce affect them, and their future lives?
Staying together for the kids is not a solution. If this is what you’re doing, you better think twice. An unhappy couple can never raise a happy child. Growing up in a stressed, gloomy atmosphere can cause a child more damage than a divorce. I would know, being raised in this atmosphere.
Regarding the financial issue, each couple has its circumstances and there are many possible ways to cope. There are numerous financial services and divorce analysts that offer divorce financial planning and can help you get a decent divorce settlement.
As for getting a second chance, you have every chance to have one. Many find love again. Some remarry, others live together. Couples with children from previous marriages give birth to children of their own. There is life after divorce. There’s no reason why you should not have one. And if you choose this course after all, there’s no reason for you to cope will everything on your own. Consult divorce planning services, many of which you can find on the web. You’ll be surprised to know how much these offer- starting with financial advice and ending with emotional support.