Many would, at point or another, have considered the possibility that their spouse no longer loves them. He or she is no longer as loving, caring and attentive as they used to be, never initiates sex and though he/she claims that everything is fine, the other side often feel ignored and can only think of one reason for the change: My husband/wife doesn’t love me anymore. And then comes this unbelievable “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore”, and you feel like your life is over.
To be sure, that’s exactly what happens in many marriages. Routine is the biggest enemy of every relationship. After many years together, we get used to our spouse and our feelings change. Many cannot accept this change and feel depressed. For some, it is harder to accept the fact that their feelings for their spouse have changed than to know that their spouse doesn’t love them. Others adjust themselves to what is now “the new normal” state of affairs, that is, less sex and affection, and never notice that their partner is becoming more and more distant until it’s too late . Why, many couples enjoy a fairly stable, affair-less and affection-less marriage, quietly falling apart without even noticing it. Let’s make something clear: If your partner doesn’t have an affair, it still doesn’t mean everything’s great. Imagine a couple that lived together 12 years without sex. Committed they may be, but is this what we call a healthy marriage? Many feel shocked when discovering that their spouse leads an affair (sexual or emotional), and seek counseling, but In this case, as in many others, sexual infidelity is strongly overrated. Not that it should be ignored, but it is often a symptom for one of the spouses being profoundly unhappy in marriage. In other words, the above mentioned spouse should have considered counseling much earlier, and the couple may have spared themselves much emotional pain.