relationship expert

How to Fall Back in Love

Marriage is a long-term commitment and responsibility. That can be stressing enough even for a very loving husband and wife. The routine of marriage can be disastrous for many couples who don’t know how to enjoy it, and therefore can’t avoid sinking into boredom.

However, it’s more than possible to make your partner to fall in love with you again, and to fall in love yourself. Here are a few basic tips:

LIVE YOUR LIFE. Don’t put all your efforts into your partner and family alone. Make time for YOUR hobbies, plans and dreams, they are just as important. Be the exciting and interesting person your partner has once fallen in love with.

INDEPENDENCY. For a marriage to succeed, the partners must be independent. It may sound bad, but I’ll say it nonetheless: Fake it till you make it. Don’t badger your partner with “you don’t love me anymore”s. Yes, I know it’s hard, but imagine how YOU would feel if your partner followed you around, whining. Love him or her you may, but it’s still annoying as hell, and will not make your partner respect you. Respect yourself. A needy, clingy person is not attractive. A free, energetic, independent individual is.

BREAK THE ROUTINE. Want to rediscover your romance and intimacy? Find the time to be together, just the two of you. Kids ( if you have any) are important, but the family won’t work without you and your spouse. And oh, don’t wait for your other half to initiate sex. Surprise your partner. Somehow, it always works.

GIVE WHAT YOU WANT TO GET. Sex isn’t the only thing you can initiate instead of complaining about not having it. Give your partner both the thrill and the warmth that you wish to get from him or her yourself. Trust me, you’ll be rewarded.

ASK FOR HELP. Counseling may prove not as scary as it might sound. As for those who prefer their help printed, you will find plenty of material on the web. The relationship expert Dr. Lee H. Baucom offers some sound advice, and it might be a good place to start.

 

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How To Save Your Marriage

I myself am not married. Yet. But you don’t really have to be. It’s enough to be involved in a serious, long-term relationship (which luckily I am), to be familiar with the troubles that can arise. Once you start to think you beat the statistics, the problems start,  you realize that your marriage and love life are no longer what they used to be. So, what now?  You may decide to start a new life. It’s more than OK if you do. If, however, you believe that your relationship with your partner deserves another try, this article is for you.

So here’s just a few basic tips.

JUST LET GO. You and your partner are two different people, often with different tastes and interests.  You should respect each other’s decisions and choices, whether in clothes, movies or career matters. Forcing your opinion on your partner won’t change him, but you’ll probably get into a fight.

SPACE. Everybody needs it from time to time. It’s OK for your husband to spend a weekend fishing with MALE friends. The best couple I know occasionally spends a separate vacation, and they adore each other. After 30 years of marriage, that’s definitely saying something.

SPEAK IT OUT. Don’t wait for things to explode. Knowing how to argue is an art by itself, so just remember this: What you really want is to solve this argument, not to prove you’re right. No, you don’t have to give up your principles, but don’t ever go to sleep angry. Oh, and another thing. There’s no worse starting phrase than “honey, we need to talk”.

SEX. Now  that’s going to take more than a short advice. For a start, see the previous tip. If you want to change something in your sex life, say it. However, lecturing or reproaching your partner won’t do the trick. It’s a delicate matter, and you really don’t want to offend each other. As for fidelity, remember that you’re both human, and it’s perfectly natural to be attracted to other people. What you do with those feelings is a different matter, and solutions are plenty. That’s for you to decide.

Rebuilding your relationship might take a while, and you will sure need much patience, love and understanding.  If, however, you feel that you need a more detailed, step-by-step advice, I’d start with this practical guide by the relationship expert, Dr. Lee H. Baucom, which you can find here.

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