save the marriage

Saving Your Marriage

During the course of my work, I receive copious mails from men and women, requesting my advice regarding their marriages. Some complain about an unfaithful husband or wife, others say their partners don’t care for sex anymore. Naturally, all of them feel bad and want to solve their issues. Surprisingly enough, no matter how bad the situation is, none of them mentions the possibility of a divorce.

In some cases, when it seems that a relationship is beyond repair, I carefully offer to consider the possibility of a separation. In some cases, I talk about a trial separation. Sometimes, about a divorce. And the reactions I get are amazing. One woman actually thanked me for saying what she was afraid to think about. Another wrote that the marriage advisor she was seeing insisted that to solve their problems, she and her husband must stay together, and said my answer was refreshing to hear. It seemed as though they were waiting for someone to tell them what they were afraid to think about themselves.

Not all couples make it through. Some marriages inevitably fail, and no one knows better than you whether yours is worth saving. Eventually, it’s all about whether you feel good in this relationship, but as time passes, many tend to forget what that means.

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How to Fall Back in Love

Marriage is a long-term commitment and responsibility. That can be stressing enough even for a very loving husband and wife. The routine of marriage can be disastrous for many couples who don’t know how to enjoy it, and therefore can’t avoid sinking into boredom.

However, it’s more than possible to make your partner to fall in love with you again, and to fall in love yourself. Here are a few basic tips:

LIVE YOUR LIFE. Don’t put all your efforts into your partner and family alone. Make time for YOUR hobbies, plans and dreams, they are just as important. Be the exciting and interesting person your partner has once fallen in love with.

BE INDEPENDENT. For a marriage to succeed, the partners must be independent. It may sound bad, but I’ll say it nonetheless: Fake it till you make it. Don’t badger your partner with “you don’t love me anymore”s. Yes, I know it’s hard, but imagine how YOU would feel if your partner followed you around, whining. Love him or her you may, but it’s still annoying as hell, and will not make your partner respect you. Respect yourself. A needy, clingy person is not attractive. A free, energetic, independent individual is.

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