Trial Separation

I personally knew a couple that was about to get married after four years together. But shortly before the wedding, the girl suddenly panicked. Her fiancé was her first man, and she was afraid that she haven’t experienced enough in life and won’t be able to fully commit herself to one man. Their relationship started to deteriorate and not wanting to lose her, the boyfriend, (not the girl!) offered a timeout. They agreed on a separation period. Today, they’re happily married.

A trial separation is not an easy experience and a hard decision to make, but it helped some couples to save their marriage. If your relationship is in trouble, then this is an option that you and your partner should consider, whether you’re married or just in a relationship.

A trial separation gives both partners some time and space to think about their marital issues without the constant stress and fighting at home. However, many are afraid that a trial separation might finally draw them apart. Some think that when their partner offers a trial separation, he/she is just looking for an excuse to get away but is too afraid to ask for a divorce. And indeed, it might so happen that during the separation period, one of the partners or both may realize that divorce is the right thing to do and what’s more, they may appreciate the freedom and see that divorce isn’t as frightening as it seemed before the separation.

There are, of course, some cons in a trial separation that you should consider. Children might find it hard to cope with their parents’ separation. The kids’ reaction might add to the already existing strain, so you and your spouse should decide how to break the news to them together, in the most considerate way possible.

If you decide to give a trial separation a try, there are several things you should remember:

  • The decision should be mutual.
  • The partners should carefully plan the separation period together, for example, decide who will take the kids and when the other parent can visit them.
  • You and your partner should be aware of the two possible outcomes of this experience

A marriage trial separation is not an omnipotent solution that will work for every couple. Every marriage has its issues, and every couple should pick a method that suits both parties. But this option has helped many couples to rebuild their relationships. Amy Waterman’s guide is a good place to learn more about planning a trial separation and decide whether this method suits you.

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Trial Separation, 9.9 out of 10 based on 107 ratings

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34 Responses to Trial Separation
  1. Trisha Reply

    weird but true. when me and my boyfriend separated it did make me appreciate my freedom more… but we got back 2gether again in the end:)))

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  2. Nadia Reply

    still afraid to try it:( my boyfriend offered it once, as if in a joke, because I was having doubts, but I was terrified at the idea so he dropped it.

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  3. sharon Reply

    that was helpful. hopefully. thanks. anyway.

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  4. martha Reply

    dealing with the kids was the hardest thing when we separated. i hate to remember it now, but hey, it worked, so I guess i got nothing to complain about.

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  5. Manuel Reply

    looking serious. ah, he’s Jewish, that makes me trust him more:)

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  6. Stacey Reply

    it helped me and my boyfriend stay together.

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  7. alex Reply

    mu wife wants tht, but i dunno.. guess i gotta give it a try, at least we tried to do something..

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  8. Ivy Reply

    yep, bad sex DOES happen, and it takes time to learn that it happens and it’s natural..

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  9. Tony Reply

    thnk you very much.

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  10. Janet Reply

    well, we broke up after separation, but u’r right, it’s not as bad as it seems once u taste freedom :-)

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  11. Juan Reply

    You made some good points there.

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  12. Glenn Reply

    me and my husband r thinking about it, but we’r afraid for the kids, they’re stressed already.

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  13. stan Reply

    i don’t think i could have done that, but useful info anyway.

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  14. Colin Reply

    It’s really a nice and useful piece of information.

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  15. Alison Reply

    sounds like it’s worth a try although i am still doubtful.

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  16. Tina Reply

    There are lots of strange comments on here……

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  17. Angela Strub Reply

    I really liked Amy Watereman’s book. It helped me with some issues – not a trial separation, thankfully me and my husband never got that far:)

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  18. Katie Contreras Reply

    haha, seeing my ex flirting with other girls was where I snapped:))

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  19. kaileigh freiger Reply

    I’d go for it, at least so I can tell myself I did everything I could to help myself.

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  20. Amber Reply

    It seems like an easy way to get used to the idea of divorce.

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    • marriage

      marriage Reply

      Hello,

      It may indeed end up like this and if it does, a separation WILL make it easier, so there’s nothing bad in it. But it may also help a couple to reunite. I’ve seen it happen more than once.

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  21. tina Reply

    Hello,

    I recently discovered that my boyfriend has been cheating on me for quite a while. We’ve been together for 7 years, and I still love him, but how can I be with someone who lied to me?! He hasn’t even told me about the affair, and behaves as if everything was normal. Should I tell him I know? Please help.

    Tina

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    • marriage

      marriage Reply

      Dear Tina,

      Please check your Inbox and Spam for an e-mail from me.

      Regards,
      Renata

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  22. Sasha Reply

    Hi,

    I’d like to write you an e-mail please..can I?

    Sasha

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    • marriage

      marriage Reply

      Hi Sasha,

      Please check your Inbox and Spam for an e-mail from me.

      Regards,
      Renata

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  23. Amit Reply

    must admit I;m not sure I’d had the guts to do it.

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  24. April Reply

    Hi, my husband keeps demanding trial separation but I know he only wants to be away from me. I still ove him and don’t want divorce. what can I do?!

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    • marriage

      marriage Reply

      Hello April,

      Please check your Inbox and spam folder for an e-mail.

      Regards,
      Renata

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  25. Stella m. Reply

    nothing to be afraid of. If after separating, both decide to break up, it means it wasn’t meant to be. So it works.

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  26. Narmeen Reply

    I want to try, but my husband will never agree. He’s religious..

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  27. June Reply

    Totally worked for ussssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  28. Ellie Reply

    i need advice on how to leave a lying and cheating boyfriend please help me?

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  29. Rick Reply

    Is it a good idea to do a trial separation? My wife said she wants this and intends to take our youngest child, and leave me in the house. I’m afraid it won’t work and concerned about the boy, who might miss his regular kindy. Any experience or advice appreciated.

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    • marriage

      marriage Reply

      Dear Rick,

      Please check your Inbox and Spam for a reply.

      Renata

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