Long-Distance Marriage

Marriage /  / By Trouble Marriage / 940412 views

A long-distance marriage is not an easy experience. Those whose spouse spends much of their time abroad on business know that well enough. The spouse that remains at home has a lot on his/her mind: How will I manage everything on my own? Who will help with the kids? And the most worrying thought of them all: what if my spouse will have an affair while abroad?

The separation period is definitely not easy. But a couple CAN survive it, and come out with a strong, loving relationship. Here are a few tips that will help you keep the spark alive.

Stick to Business

Remember, what you have here is business travel. Yes, a change in the everyday routine, living in a hotel and eating out instead of the usual soup and meatballs can make you feel like you’re on vacation, and it will certainly feel so at the beginning. However, anyone who spends much of their time traveling on company business would tell you otherwise. After months of constant traveling, the flights are not that fun anymore, but tiresome, and eating all alone, even in fancy restaurants, suddenly seems dull without your family. You won’t feel it right away, but you’ll get there. But if you’re not there yet, keep the trip as businesslike as possible. Don’t hang out in pubs and clubs (assuming you have the time for it) and remember there’s someone waiting for you back home.


Even when you’re away, there are many ways to spend quality time with your spouse and do things together. And they better be simple, everyday things that you usually to do together at home. But since you’re not at home, make sure you’re both available and “book ahead”. So here’s what you do. Review your schedules, and make plans for you and your spouse. Find time to watch a movie together, or eat dinner, (wine, virtual flowers and all) as if you were out on a date. By the way, you may as well call it a date, it’s more cool and romantic that way. You can talk on the phone or Skype while watching, making comments about the movie, or just have a casual conversation. Call home every night to wish the kids good night or at the morning, to wake your spouse.

However, you don’t have to plan everything ahead. Surprise each other once in a while with a phone call. To spice up your communication, use web cams or video phones. When will you ever have an opportunity for a video date? Remember, technology is your best friend. With Skype and other technological miracles, you don’t have to miss a birthday party, or Thanksgiving. You can almost be there with the ones you love. You can even have virtual sex with your spouse. Think of the possibilities.

Share Your Plans

To keep the spark alive, your marriage should be a priority even when you’re on a business trip. Your spouse should be fully involved in your day routine and plans. It will help you feel more “together”. So talk about your plans. Share them with your spouse, even if they’re really minor. Tell them about the news at work, tell your kids about the culture and the people in the country you’re currently visiting, or talk about your future plans together.

Make the Most of Your Time Together

The spouse at home might be tempted to save up chores, frustrations and problems for the returning spouse. Don’t do it! The time you spend together is too precious, so use it well. If the returning spouse has been away all week, they shouldn’t spend their few hours at home with friends or with other activities that keep you away from the family. Find a balance between the must-do activities and time together. Go out on a date. Go out camping with the kids. Spend a quiet evening at home. Whatever makes you happy, make the most of your time together.

A long-distance marriage can be a tough experience. The spouse at home remains with all the chores, worries and loneliness while the traveling spouse has to cope with tiresome flights and various temptations abroad. But it can make your marriage stronger if both want it hard enough. When we must take an effort to communicate and spend time with the ones we love, we might not take them for granted as we might have done before. We might appreciate what we have a bit more.

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  • V. Moore

    I totally respect people who make t heir marriage work over long distances..I’m not sure at all I’d manage..

  • Monster

    It CAN work. Me and my wife prove it over and over again. She’s the business woman in the family, and travels a lot, and I know she misses me, nd I trust her completely. We chat (God bless Skype), talk on the phone, and it makes me miss her even more and happy to see her when she’s finally back.

  • Trouble Marriage

    Well, I think you’d be surprised to find out what we’re capable of, when we really want to. But I do hope you won’t have to, in this case.

  • Marco Lane

    To refuse to do date like things with you is also hurtful and I believe abusive. To keep the romance and passion in a marriage, a couple must spend at least 15 hours a week together doing date-like things. Now they can be simple things like a walk and talk in the park while holding hands. Or it can be dinner at a fancy restaurant. Do you ask him if he’s happy in the marriage? If so what does he say? My advice is that you have to tell him that you feel s rejected in your marriage that you are seriously thinking of divorce. And ask him if he wants a divorce or to rebuild your marriage. If he says he wants a divorce, there is no need to tell him of your affair. Just move on with your life. You HAVE to confront him and tell him how unhappy you are in the marriage. Tell him that his rejection of you is so hurtful that you cannot remain in the marriage.

  • alex

    My boyfriend lives in Mexico (I’m American) and he wants to marry, but I have two more years to graduate. He wants to marry before I leave. Should I do this? Will this marriage work?

  • It could, but it doesn’t mean you must marry now if you have your doubts. You didn’t mention how long have you two been together (not in a long-distance relationship), but there’s no reason not to continue your relationship without getting married wait until you graduate so that you can spend some time together.